My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
