i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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