The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
