Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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