Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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