My room smells like vodka and shame
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Alive.
So much puke
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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