Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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