his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
