I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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