Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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