How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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