And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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