As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
