She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
