Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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