I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
