I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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