She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
