All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
