sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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