I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
