hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
