so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
