1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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