I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
