Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize