oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
