well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
