Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
