VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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