Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
