You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
