She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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