I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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