This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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