i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
