used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
