She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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