roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
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Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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