if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
