Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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