dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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