i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
