I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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