Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
