a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
