watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday