question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!