Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.