CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
