she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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