ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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