If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
