What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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