Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
