a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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