Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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