You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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